Okay listen, this wasn’t going to be 100 songs, but 2018 was a better year for pop than I originally thought!
I should mention that my taste, as you might have noticed, heavily leans toward pop bangers. Although there are some slower songs on here, this list is pretty much non-stop bops, even compared to other Twitter Gays’ lists that I’ve seen. You’re welcome.
Also, I find it really hard to rank music. I had to cut a lot of good songs, so none of these positions (including the lower ones) are shade. Except maybe the first one.
#100: Halsey – “Without Me”
I don’t feel that strongly about this song, but I’ve found myself listening to it a lot. Please don’t be mean to me. I’m coming back! *speeds away from fans*
#99: Call Me Loop – “Love The Lie”
This lady has had a few basic bops, but this is my favourite because of the predrinking-outside-in-summer vibe. Nothing she’s released has caught on, but now she’s changed her name from “Loop” to “Call Me Loop”, so I really think that’s going to make all the difference.
#98: Iggy Azalea – “Kream” (feat. Tyga)
“KREAM” stands for Kash Rules Everything Around Me, obviously. Anyway, the video aesthetic is amazing.
#97: Ashley Tisdale – “Voices In My Head”
Ashley Tisdalegend has barely released anything since she invented both pop AND rock in 2009 with her iconic album, Guilty Pleasure. These days she has a new nose and a new inoffensive sound, but I mean… this is definitely a nice pop song, let’s say that.
#96: Peg Parnevik – “Break Up A Bit”
This is totally a Spotify recommendation and I have no idea who this artist is, but quite a banger.
#95: Jake Miller – “Wait For You”
A male vocal? On MY list? Well firstly, he’s extremely hot, but also, Miss Jake really has a LOT of pop bops. This newest one is great.
#94: Charli XCX – “Focus”
I never stan a Charli song for very long, and this is no exception. However, we had a very happy few weeks together. Clearly a bop.
#93: Hot Shade & Mika Zibanejad – “Nobody”
A really strong Eurobanger. Sounds a bit too much like an actual song for Eurovision though, unfortunately.
#92: Jennifer Lopez – “El Anillo”
If you’re not paying attention to JLO in 2018, you’re missing the fuck out. Her music videos have always been brilliant, but the BUDGETS recently are off the scale. This video (with nearly 250 million views!) isn’t even her most elaborate this year, but it blows all the other girls out of the water.
#91: Janet Jackson – “Made For Now” (feat. Daddy Yankee)
A living legend. Not a legendary song, but pretty cool.
#90: Lauren Aquilina – “Psycho”
Cute and spooky.
#89: David Guetta: “She Knows How To Love Me” (feat. Jess Glynne & Stefflon Don)
This is unbelievably off-brand, but stick with me. Jess Glynne seems to have poured every bit of sassy popstar energy she had into this feature, leaving nothing for her own material. Generous queen.
#88: Kacey Musgraves – “Slow Burn”
As many gays with taste will tell you, Kacey’s country-pop album is really nice. Aside from the album’s singular megabop (which appears a lot higher up my list), this is my favourite of the… well, slow burners. It’s a really comforting message that kinda soothes the constant panic of being alive in 2018.
#87: Julia Michaels – “Jump” (feat. Trippie Red)
I personally feel like Julia excels more as a songwriter and I don’t actually enjoy many of her vocals, but this song has a certain flow to it that really suits her.
#86: Kygo & Oliver Nelson – “Riding Shotgun” (feat. Bonnie McKee)
This would be a really breezy and gentle bop, except for Bonnie’s signature delivery which is… a little extra here. But I love her.
#85: Cher – “Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! (A Man After Midnight)”
I ALWAYS stan a stuttering vocal effect, and here we get a good one. I wouldn’t have been surprised if this cover had been about a 5/10 on the banger scale, but they pushed it to a solid 8. I only wish they’d pushed a little more because it could have been an 11.
#84: Jax Jones – “Ring Ring” (feat. Mabel & Rich The Kid)
I saw Mabel perform at Brighton Pride, while defending my front row spot for Britney approximately 84 hours later. She took the whole thing very seriously, meanwhile a drunk guy was screaming “MAPLE SYRUP” at her the entire time.
#83: One Bit & Noah Cyrus – “My Way”
I’m really surprised how well the “Drop The Pressure” sample works here.
#82: Ciara – “Level Up”
Ciara is so underappreciated. I think she really knows her strengths and this song/video combination is a perfect example, even if it’s not exactly “Work”.
#81: Lady Gaga & Bradley Cooper – “Shallow”
*Joanna Lumley voice* Shall I tell you something? I was shocked how much I enjoyed A Star Is Born. It’s a really well made, well acted film, and the music works perfectly for it. I genuinely love the part in this song where Gaga just starts shouting. Go off, queen!
#80: 5 Seconds Of Summer – “Talk Fast”
Youngblood was also a bop, but this is better.
#79: Ariana Grande – “goodnight n go”
Spoiler alert, there might be one or two more Ariana songs on this list. This isn’t quite a cover, but sort of a reinvention (or upgrade, let’s be honest) of the Imogen Heap song. I can see why she chose it because the lyrics definitely sound like something that Ariana would write.
#78: Mariah Carey – “Giving Me Life” (feat. Slick Rick & Blood Orange)
This is a fan favourite from Caution, and honestly, deserved.
#77: Christina Aguilera – “Accelerate” (feat. Ty Dolla $ign & 2 Chainz)
What was she thinking? I can’t even call this song polarising, because I don’t think anyone loved it. After the album came out, the decision to lead with Accelerate made even less sense. However, aside from the initial shock, the only thing really lacking is the vocal production, especially on the final chorus. There’s just two Xtinas competing for lead vocals where there should be, like, 10 subtle layers.
#76: Allie X – “Little Things”
The first of four entries from Super Sunset on this list, so safe to say I really like this project. Some of the lyrics are very relatable here, as The Other Legend X talks about being calm during massive disasters but ultimately being driven to snapping point by seemingly much smaller things. And snap she did.
#75: Kylie Minogue – “Raining Glitter”
Kylie, bless her, clearly had so much fun with her semi-country era this year. Fortunately the general public were a bit more on board than they were last time, but still too homophobic to let this song be released as a single from Golden. #JusticeForRainingGlitter
#74: Galantis – “Satisfied” (feat. MAX)
As a rule, I can’t stand Galantis songs, but they’ve completely done away with their typical high-pitched chanting children this time and got an actual singer instead. This is one of those songs that you play at predrinks and all your local friends ask who it’s by, and you’re like, I don’t really know but it slaps.
#73: DJ Snake – “Taki Taki” (feat. Selena Gomez, Ozuna & Cardi B)
The random featured artists do actually fit pretty well, but the real star is the consistently brilliant Colin Tilley who directed the video. Wig fell into a volcano.
#72: Little Mix – “Wasabi”
I can’t really believe Little Mix are on their fifth album, and actually emphasising it with the title, yet they’ve only JUST started to get more experimental. This track is my favourite example – it starts off sounding predictable, but adds some really cool elements as it goes along, like the 00s-esque melodies in the verses and Jesy’s amazing pre-chorus. Rock music was invented again.
#71: Nicki Minaj – Coco Chanel (feat. Foxy Brown)
Bit random, but one of my favourites from a patchy album. Nicki’s flow gets really good on a couple of verses. Also, the fake gunshots that open Foxy’s verse sound like Medoner’s PowerPoint presentation, which is a classy touch.
#70: Kylie Minogue – “Dancing”
Not my favourite lead single, but a cute bop. The double meaning of the lyric “I wanna go out dancing” is actually really clever and melancholic.
#69: Ava Max – “My Way”
I just want to say, the sudden and unexplained mainstream breakthrough of Ava Max should have happened last year when she was featured on “Clap Your Hands” by Le Youth, which is way better than anything she’s released since. But that’s a different podcast. Her debut solo single “My Way” was also good.
#68: All Saints – “After All”
I saw All Saints live a couple of weeks ago, and expected this song to be a huge mood killer (being a recent, relatively downtempo track). Fortunately, the fans were really enthusiastic about literally everything, so this song got the moment it deserved. Not only is it produced by William Orbit, but it genuinely sounds like the kind of music he would have made with All Saints – or Madonna – 20 years ago.
#67: One Bit & Louisa – “Between You & Me”
Former X Factor winner Louisa Johnson generally specialises in songs that will only ever be heard at gay predrinks, but she experimented with a more mainstream-friendly sound on this banger.
#66: Say Lou Lou – “Ana”
Kinda dark but also not? All I know is the girls are giving us drama. I’m having one of my moments! The drama of it all!
#65: Kiiara – “1%”
We got bops on bops from Kiiara again this year. Love the “rang rang rang, blowin’ up my phone” verse.
#64: Cheryl – “Love Made Me Do It”
I wish they’d update the thumbnail for this video, it really doesn’t do it justice. I do like how you can hear Nicola singing the “yeah yeah” after the chorus. One of her better singles, honestly.
#63: MK, Jonas Blue & Becky Hill – “Back & Forth”
A lot of MK songs are really just noise, but every so often we get a strong dance-piano, vocal-chopping bop.
#62: Allie X – “Can’t Stop Now”
This lady knows how to craft a pop chorus, and the vocals have more layers than the Photoshop file I used to make LJO’s General Product commercial.
#61: Dev – “Girls Don’t Lie”
I have always been a lowkey Dev stan (by the way she has a really good song called Lowkey!) although her second album wasn’t that interesting when it finally came out last year. I was happy to discover that the four singles she’s put out recently are all good, though, and this one sounds particularly like a strong pop hit. The chorus lyrics provide a moment of “ah, I see what you did there!” when you get to the song’s title, which is quite satisfying.
#60: The Chainsmokers – “Side Effects” (feat. Emily Warren)
Honestly I was shocked and shook at how much I liked this song. It’s really nothing like The Chainsmokers, if that helps.
#59: Ciara – “Dose”
Again, Ciara seems to realise that we want bops with heavy choreography. But why bother making new songs when you have unreleased Darkchild demos that have clearly been sitting around since at least the Basic Instinct era?
#58: Sofi Tukker – “Baby I’m A Queen”
Not sure what I love about this song, but it’s probably the killer chorus and the way it gradually builds to a chaotic crescendo.
#57: Rita Ora – “Let You Love Me”
I didn’t know she sang, I thought she judged on TV shows or whatever.
#56: Nicki Minaj – “Barbie Dreams”
Nicki announced, almost proudly, that this video was made in one day. Imagine how good it could have been if they actually made puppets for everyone mentioned in the song, planned each shot instead of improvising the entire thing (especially the unbearable intro), and edited out all the bits where she stops bothering to lipsync?
#55: Little Mix – “Woman Like Me” (feat. Nicki Minaj)
Wouldn’t it be good if “Side To Side” was written by Ed Sheeran, said no one ever. However, it’s fine, and the video is one of their best.
#54: Shawn Mendes – “In My Blood”
I’m not sure how to interpret this song now. To me, the lyrics REALLY sounded like they were clearly talking about a certain specific thing, but Shawn seems to be insisting that’s not the case. Regardless, this wins an unusually high place on my list for a slow song by a male singer.
#53: Ariana Grande – “successful”
The instrumental sounds like you’ve just finished in 12th on Mario Kart, but the lyrics are the opposite. I love the concept – if anyone can take a moment to say “you know what, despite everything, my professional life is going pretty well”, it’s Ariana.
#52: Sabrina Carpenter & Jonas Blue – “Alien”
2018 was a good year for Sabrinas.
#51: Calvin Harris & Dua Lipa – “One Kiss”
Very much a massive summer smash in the UK, which makes a nice change because most of our massive “hits” for the last year or two have been Drake songs I literally never heard. I was tempted to rank this a lot lower because I’ve heard it so much, but it does deserve a high spot.
I massively underestimated how much effort this would be, so thanks for staying with me.
But what, you might ask, were the actual, definitive, literal, best 50 songs of the year?
