I know I shouldn’t have kept you waiting, but I’m here now.

This website is a typical example of my creative projects. I set it up, planning to write regularly about pop music (since that’s kind of my thing), and promptly abandoned it after one single post about Fergie’s album. Fun side note: that review is the only thing that reminds me Double Dutchess even happened.

Anyway, I’m back from a 14-month hiatus in the hope that you, probably non-existent reader, can help me answer a simple, iconic question: Whats going on with mycareer?

You might be familiar with one of my slightly more successful ideas: The Nekci Menij Show. Six years ago, I accidentally tapped into a weird little niche within pop music stan culture, and it’s one of the best things that ever happened to me. I’m still really confused about what happened, but somehow I ended up connecting with a pretty incredible network of people just by making them laugh at the pop stars we all enjoy. Nekci Menij is basically the name on my official Gay Pop Twitter membership card, and I love that.

However, in recent years I’ve been feeling a little stuck. As you might know, the release schedule for the technically-still-ongoing show is super patchy, because it takes me longer and longer every time to find the inspiration and, more importantly, the time to create new episodes, even when real life pop culture increasingly seems to play out like a parody. Although Nekci hasn’t completely faded, I do find myself missing the early days of making the show when I felt so incredibly connected to this little community.

There are a lot of people on Twitter who I’ve never met and don’t necessarily talk to much, or even at all, but I think of as friends. While I’ve been procrastinating, I’ve seen so many of these people (almost exclusively pop music stans with tons of creative talent) carve out their own paths, and many of them have become, in my eyes, super successful. Maybe it’s the curse of social media, but I can’t help making comparisons and questioning myself. Have I peaked? Was my YouTube show – which once felt like the perfect mashup of my writing, comedy, graphic design and pop music trivia skills – the grand total of what I have to offer?

I suspect I’m not alone in this, but one problem is I feel there’s a massive disconnect between the niche I’ve found on Twitter and YouTube – where I can instantly share my passion for pop music, shady sense of humour and a unique lexicon of references with people who just get it – and my professional life in “the real world”. Since 2012, I’ve graduated and worked my way through several marketing jobs with varying degrees of success. I’ve never worked in an industry with any overlap with the pop music scene whatsoever. I’ve never even had an openly gay colleague that I worked with closely enough to speak to. I’ve never yet felt like my real passion or talent had any real connection to how I spend most of my time and earn most of my coins.

So… what’s changed? Well, I recently started my third job of 2018, and it’s not going too badly so far. I’m starting to feel a little more stable for the first time in a while, and that’s starting to recharge my creative energy. I want to grab it while I can, and channel it into something awesome. Maybe something that can help me connect with Gay Pop Twitter again? Much like PureGym, I’ve still got my membership but I barely use it.

That brings me back to Cher’s timeless question. What IS going on with my career, as an internet gay?

All I know is that I think I have more to give. It might be through writing (um… anyone still reading this?), it might be through YouTube videos, it might just be cranking out new Nekci episodes until nobody gives a fuck any more (which has arguably already happened). In the words of a certain Living Legend… you’ll have to wait and see.